After announcing its introduction of an R18+ rating to gaming, many Australian gamers thought that this would herald a new age in the vice-like censorship that had a healthy grip on our countries’ marble pouch. Finally there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
However, as most of you know, Saints Row IV came under the crosshairs
of the Australian Classification Board due to its touching on topics such as
sexual assault, drugs and general butt-stuff. It was refused classification,
and Australian gamers sighed and sagged back into their seats. We weren’t even
angry, we were just disappointed.
The rehashing of the Australian classification system was
the equivalent of you parents telling you you’re going out for ice-cream, only
to pull up to the hauntingly familiar white-slabbed brick of the dentist’s
office. In a quick, shattering move the classifications board yelled “psych!”
and reaffirmed their outdated thinking. It became clear that the new
R18+ rating was just a remarketing of the old MA15+ rating, and that a
plausible R18+ rating would be available in the year “go fuck yourself”.
The Australian cut of Saints
Row IV came out yesterday, and I knew I had to get my hands on it. Surely,
as soon as I hopped into the world I’d feel the debauchery oozing out of my
computer, telling me to do awful things to the undeserving masses. Having never
played any of the games in the Saints Row
franchise, I was expecting a clear cut understanding of why such a game was
causing so much controversy.
After two hours into the game, I had no idea how such a
realisation was met; the game is so isolated from any sense of reality that it’s
almost as if you’re watching a cartoon. A really messed up cartoon. The game is
so fantastical and surreal that it’s almost impossible to create any strong
association between the virtual world and reality – it overtly reminds you that
you are playing a videogame at all times.
 |
| Soak in the sweet, sweet realism. |
The whole point of a classifications board is to help the
people from intrusive and possibly
harmful material. But at what point does the act of censorship itself become the
thing that is harming that countries’ people? In the name of stopping social degradation
the board is limiting any sense of freedom of expression. Some of the most
defining moments in human history were brought about by our instinctive desire
to say “fuck you” and tear down what were largely considered to be social
norms. The world adapts to these changes – this isn’t to say we should go
around beating each other with big rubber dicks, but to be afraid of the idea of it is the truly terrifying
thing. What you’re doing then is limiting imagination and our basic desire to
create.
But I should move on – I’m here to deliver my thoughts on
the game, not some social commentary on Australian affairs. So, without any
further ado, I present to you a completely unabashed, raunchy review of the
Australian cut of Saints Row IV!
(Approved by the Australian Classification Board)
Saints Row IV kicks down the door, pulls down your pants and in a
hotdog suit. A mangle of and obviously fake , this righteously smug
game whips out its and in four . Though
sometimes glitchy, the game is a monument to everywhere and can be best summed
up in three words:
And that’s with a capital . With a variety of dispensing weapons to choose from you’ll be causing delighted mayhem in no
time. With a quick click of you trigger you can and
a half in her all on company expenses.
So this summer, don’t spend you days sitting idly by
waiting for excitement to come looking for you, go out and make it yourself
with Saints Row IV.
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